We weren’t allowed to say much of anything when we were kids: “Rats” was one exception.
Nowadays, I tend to use “Argh” a lot on the internet. Hopefully, the “gh” at the end is keeping me from presenting myself as a deranged and irritable pirate.
“Wicked” was popular when my sister was in high school: “wicked cool”, “wicked fun.” My parents chided her for using “wicked” as if it were a GOOD thing.
I remember saying, “O stink!” when I was traveling in a summer group for a fundy college. The faculty member traveling with us replied, “You don’t have swear about it!”
No, I didn’t say it during a concert.
I used to say “rats” all the time, too, until my IFB school made us all feel guilty for any kind of saying that expressed frustration. Cuz, you know, frustration means you’re not trusting God. I was in second grade at the time.
I say “oh my cheese” and “what the fish”. Not because I was raised fundamentalist, but because my two year old sister, and five year old brothers repeat EVERYTHING I say.
The idea of minced oaths always struck me as anal retentive. I was sitting at a faculty table one time and used the expression “as luck would have it.” Another faculty member attempted to lecture me on the use of luck in front of everyone. I cut her off by simply stating “I said luck because I meant luck.”
After I had left Maranatha, I came back and accidentally used the word “gee.” An administrator attempted to rebuke me because I used a bad word. As I left, I turned to him and said “I used ‘gee’ because I meant gee. Had I wanted to use the word ‘Jesus,’ I would have used the word Jesus. The same goes for heck, gosh, darn, and fudge. People in the real world don’t bat an eyelash. The only ones who get their panties in a wad are anal-retentive fundies like you, and that is the reason why you-all feel so intimidated and insecure.” The man literally went unhinged in the hallway as I simply walked away from him and out the door.
Though idk; the Bible says in so many words not to use “idle words” (“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”). They might have a point. I mean, what are idle words?
Oh, but for the TRULY serious fundy (read: “the one who God loves more”), made-up cuss words are not acceptable. Because those are just replacing real cuss words, which makes them just as evil as the real thing.
I remember getting this lecture in chapel at my fundy U (instead of, you know, teaching from the Bible) and trying not to laugh.
Watergate happened when I was in Bible college. (yeah, I’m that old) My best friend and I used the “expletive deleted” that occurred frequently in the published portions of the transcripts of the famous tapes. We’d say, “Expletive deleted! I left my Biblical Research assignment at home!” It’s a bit cumbersome when you really need a verbal pressure valve. I have recently found myself using “stink” but have no idea where I picked it up. I’m not around any fun dies ….fun dies… STINK! Why does my spell check insist on making me use incorrect plural spelling for fundy?! Arrgh! Change the Y to an i and add -es, but NO! It insists on fun dies! Wait. What in the blue blazes? Well, I’ll be jiggered! Fundy = fun dies. That’s really a thing of beauty, when you think about it. Can you spell ironic?
I have to admit, I’m kind of with the truly serious fundies on this one, at least in the sense that it always struck me as a little silly when people purposely replace a swear word with a more innocuous word because they don’t want to offend Jesus or whatever. It’s like they think they could slip one by him or something. It seems pretty condescending to act like Jesus wouldn’t know what you REALLY meant to say when you said, “Shoot!” after spilling your cup of coffee all over the stack of forms you were filling out. I mean, as a non-Christian I don’t really care one way or the other, but it just seems odd. It’s like the implication is that Jesus is a bit like a 5 year old when it comes to being able to sneak naughty words by him or something. That just goes for the people who try not to curse out of some kind of religious obligation though. I can understand the people who do it out of a desire to be tactful or because they find cursing insensitive, crude, and lacking in creativity.
“The same goes for heck, gosh, darn, and fudge. People in the real world don’t bat an eyelash.” Not quite true, but not because they find it sinful. People in the non-evangelical-subculture realworld find such faux swearwords a bit ridiculous.
My husband’s office uses the phrase “hash brown”s to replace the more offensive “a$$ clowns.”
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Using made up swear words to appear more holy is just goofy. Using made up swear words so you don’t have to explain yourself to your child’s teacher is smart.
When I was in Catholic school, one of my friends used to say “Jesus, who for love of me, died on the Cross at Calvary,” instead of just saying “Jesus.” My stepmom still thought that was offensive.
I was around fundies who said ‘bah’ a lot. I now say it, not because I’m trying to avoid swearing, but just because it’s in my vocabulary now. They also called people a ‘joombie’ instead of a different offensive name.
I remember when traveling for a fundy college a pastor on the west coast getting on the subject on minced oaths in his Sunday morning sermon. He said, “When you say ‘We sure had a hectic time.’ You are really saying, ‘We sure had a hellish time.’”
Up here in New England, one of the standard cuss words is “frig” (“Frig this!” “Wicked friggin’ cold this mawnin!”) The parallel with another word is more than obvious, but I read somewhere that it actually originated in Maine among seamen — it’s a derivation of “frigate.”
My mother, who was from New York, used to express frustration by saying, “Oh, pish!” I’ve never heard that from anyone else.
As for the use of words and phrases such as “gee” and “gosh darn,” I read a sermon not long ago which opined that God has better things to do with His time than to worry about whether people use His name flippantly. Taking the Lord’s name in vain has nothing to do with cussing, unless it’s deliberately and maliciously used to curse another human being. It has a whole lot more to do with things like hypocrisy and how we live our lives in general.
Hey, this reminds me of that youtube video from a few years back with that Dean of Students (or whoever he was) from BJU. As I remember that one does get a little graphic, especially for a fundy, although the logic is very consistent to their way of thinking.
In a newspaper in TN one of the local columnists said that God’s name is not God. So, in his opinion, you could say that all you want as long you didn’t use a name of God. Ill-logic abounds from all sides of most issues.
I’m partial to using friggin’ or freakin’ myself. I’m also amused by ‘frack’ from the new Battlestar Galactica series. Not sure if it is spelled the same but it just amuses me that ‘fracking’ is a way to extract oil.
In college, we were banned from saying any type of minced oaths, even ‘crap’ and ‘sucks’. We made up our own ones like ‘buttmonkey’ though we only used it among students. sonofabaptist!
I didn’t grow up fundy but the church I grew up in had a lot of sanctimonious prigs like fundies. My parents were hypocritical in this area. They’d cuss with the real words, but we kids weren’t allowed to say the fake ones. Once I got my mouth washed out with soap for saying Golly. This was hypocrisy at it’s worst.
I try not to say that many supposed cuss words, but I will say them, all except the F word which I despise. Sometimes no other word will do but the real one!
That was my impression also (though useless conversation could certainly include gossip as Tiarali says). Therefore, when I drop something heavy on my foot and subsequently exclaim “oh shit!,” that wouldn’t be useless conversation because (1) it’s not a conversation and (2) swearing is scientifically proven to deaden the effect of pain.
“Puke!”is the one most often coming out of my mouth. Also, “Stinking!”
And those are not necessarily to replace other “bad” words – I didn’t grow up in a house where those words were used, so I have never used them (regularly – can’t honestly say absolutely never )
I remember when I first began going to a fundy church, a lot of us, mostly women would say “Oh, my soul” about everything. It got rather annoying so eventually I stopped saying it.
What about foreign cuss words? Does Bloody mean anything here in the states? No..But in the UK it’s considered cussing….So does God care about our country of origin as well as our intent when we (and I mean all you heathens) cuss?
While I was out of the classroom my fundie sub made one of my students write a paragraph on the evils of “cursing”. He had said “gee” and “darn”. I’m sure his non-fundie parents were thrilled. And I was embarrassed for us.
I find myself saying “son of a mother” and “for the love of Pete” most commonly.
Growing up, we weren’t allowed to use curse words, but gosh, golly, gee, crap, etc. were just fine. My parents were decidedly less Fundy than a lot of my friends’ parents, so I had to learn to curb my foul language at a fairly early age. Also, my family is German, so scheisser, scheiss, scheisster, & scheisskopf could be used when appropriate.
My spouse’s family was much more strict, using stink & poop when they mean…scheiss. They were also shocked to hear me use snot & crud. Seriously.
Currently, I tell my children to speak with integrity, or say what you mean. We don’t use our words as weapons to hurt others, but if you’re expressing frustration, use of an oath can be an appropriate choice. For me personally, son of a biscuit-eating bulldog is a great stress-reliever. I start out angry, but by the time I get to the end, I’m laughing & the tension is eased. But when I’ve been up for 18 hours & my toddler is tearing through the house and pulling things off shelves or pouring the contents of his sippy cup on the floor, a muttered “Dammit!” under the breath is a very appropriate expression of my feelings. Not only am I venting my frustration, I also get that giddy rush of doing something “bad” & getting away with it.
My cuss word of choice is “sugar” and if I’m really over the top frustrated “crap”. I guess there is just some fundy you can’t shed.
On a more serious note, I really don’t like cursing. I always told my boys they were intelligent enough to come up with something that really expressed what they were thinking and that cursing was just lazy and bad vocabulary. They are all men now and I’m sure they curse sometimes, but in front of me they use more creative language.
He doesn’t like when you say crap, but he “doesn’t hear” the F-word in movies? That’s kinda funny. Maybe you should drop the F-bomb a few times to see if he notices.
I spent one year at Baptist Bible College in Springfield and was in the drama class there. One of the plays we did was supposed to be in England, and all the actors were peppering their lines with “Bloody” this and “Bloody” that. After several weeks of this, one student pointed out that in some places the word bloody was considered a swear word. After that we only said it outside of class.
It all has to do with expectations: he overlooks cursing from construction workers or bad guys because that’s what one would expect, but he doesn’t expect his sweet, demure little wife to have a temper.
It is interesting to go to a church that is a lot less fundy than your previous one. In our current church we have a lady, who took a medical missions trip to Haiti. When she came back, she gave a report of her time down there and was very impressed with the way the Chrisitian prayed in Haiti. She said, “When they pray they really pray. They don’t just pray for the heck of it.” I believe at the other churches I have been in, that would have been the last time, they would have asked her to speak in church. Also, after a recent service, I had a fellow church member say to me, “That was a heck of a service!” and his dad used to pastor the church!
I agree – as a matter of course I don’t curse. Using such language frequently lessens its impact, so I tend to save foul language for when I really mean it.
Once my sister, who was going through a rough time in her life, accidentally let the phrase “oh, shit” slip out in front of my Fundy mother. My mom’s response was classic, though. “Dear, don’t worry. Sometimes life is shit.”
Well, son of a biscuit eater. If I would have gotten off my blessed assurance yesterday and came over here, I would have gotten to see this friggin thing when it was posted, and might have been darn-well first. Shittola.
These days, if I want to cuss, I just freakin’ cuss, but dagnabbit before, you might as darn well know that I used my share of those stupid-as-hades psuedo-cuss words.
But, good night, what’s a fundy to flippin do when you want to foppin express yourself and you just can’t worth a Shih Tzu?
HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA LOL OHHHhh I think maybe your mom and my mom would have been good friends. LOL That is PRICELESS!!!
My mom used to say that when people spoke in tongues they were maybe cursing God in another language and some old missionary story about someone who spoke the language the tongue speakers were speaking in… don’t remember it now because speaking in tongues wasn’t really much of an issue when I was growing up… but accidentally cussing in another language is definately a new phobia I now have. Thanks, Mom of Pastor’s Wife.
The ways that language changes between cultures is also interesting.
Years ago, a missionary shared the following story with me. He was at a service in Australia, and his wife was sick. He simply told the congregation that his wife was “under the weather.” The congregation looked shocked, so he immediately retorted “but she’s perking up now.” At that point the pastor of the church (who had spent time in the US) got up and told the guy, “In Australia, ‘under the weather’ means that she is slobbering drunk, and ‘perking up’ means that she is throwing up.”
When my grandmother (Pentecostal pastor’s wife) was frustrated, she would roll her eyes toward heaven and exclaim, “merciful Father above..” The older I get, the more I find myself doing the exact same thing…
Ha! When I was in high school, I rattled to my mom that my brother had called me a bitch. Her response was, “Well, were you acting like one? Can’t really fault him for being truthful.”
Everyone had different rules, but they acted like their rules were the only set, and expected you to know them without being told. My mom allowed “rats” and “shucks” but not “shoot”. My dad allowed all the above, but not “gee” “gosh” “golly” “heck” or “darn”. The christian school was a minefield, because each teacher seemed to have his or her own list of “dirty” words. And no one seemed to agree what made a word bad. Was it using it outside its intended context or literal meaning? Were certain words always bad, regardless of context? Were all euphemisms and minced oaths bad? Even the really obscure ones? If you don’t want me to use certain words, at least let me know how to avoid them. We don’t allow our kids to take the Lord’s name in vain (after all, it is a Commandment) and we don’t allow them to call each other “stupid” or its synonyms, but we don’t make a big deal about any other words, and they rarely swear.
I remember two stories from Australia. One was that a missionary from the states was in Australia and he’d had a great meal with his hosts. Afterward he said, “I’m stuffed!” and they laughed at him because to them stuffed meant pregnant.
In another story a woman from the states had gotten a hotel room and the bellboy asked if she wanted him to knock her up in the morning. Which meant to give her a wake up call or knock on the door to wake her up but of course to her that meant to get her pregnant. I think in either situation I’d be laughing my head off. I’d have to warn that bellboy not to say that to any woman from the states! LOL
I always have considered myself to have pretty tame language–I prefer creative use of non-obscene yet extremely descriptive words to the made-up sort of swearing–but even I was taken aback when, after letting out a relatively innocuous “oh my goodness” while helping watch a child, I was informed by his mother not to use that sort of language around her son.
I thought she misheard, so I quickly said, “oh, no, don’t worry, I only said ‘oh my goodness’.” She looked at me very seriously and said, “I know.”
I still never have quite understood why she considered that so horrendously offensive…
Now THAT’S the kind of “swearing” I like to do. It’s just so much more entertaining–and you don’t have to watch yourself lest an errant minced oath of ultimate evil slip out in the presence of the wrong person.
I’m still amused that we all think that copying Robert Newton’s characterization of Long John Silver – making it at least 3 indirections away from reality, counting Stevenson himself – makes us talk like pirates. Really? And I suppose we think pirates had parrots on their shoulders, too. Pretty funny.
Loving the Music Man reference. Don’t forget rebuttoning the knickerbockers…
A local youth drama company put the show on. They did great, but forgot the first rule of theater: when you bring the house down, WAIT until the audience stops applauding. The salesmen train “song” was so good that Harold Hill’s entrance was completely snowed by applause.
She might not have liked it because it SOUNDED like “God.” She might have disliked any extraneous words not matter how innocuous because she wanted to let her “yea be yea and her nay nay.” It’s possible too that she’d read Ps. 144:2 – “My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer” – in which God is called “my goodness.” Or it could be that she likes being “holier than thou” and takes pleasure in putting other people down in order to supposedly look super-spiritual herself.
I saw a documentary on the History Channel. It claimed it was the Puritians who created the concept of profanity, the idea that certain words were sinful. Of course most of these words were related to sex.
A phonic sound that might be a “swear” word in the English language might be an acceptable word in another.
With fundies Ethnic slurs were acceptable. I can remember a fundie evangelist dropping the n-bomb at my church.
I am for free speech, but Christians should be less obsessed with George Carlin’s “7 Words you Can’t Say on Television” and more concerned with the hateful speech that dehumanizes people like; heathen, fool, unsaved trash, liberal, catolick, holy rollers, queer, etc…
I used that quote at the last basketball game I was at. When the opposing team made a basket or a good play, I’d call out to no one in particular, “your mother was hamster!!!” As if that changed anything. Though they did end up losing…
The f-word makes me crazy because people use it all.the.time for no reason. I was working at a fast food restaurant and a guy there used it for just about every part of speech there was. I mean come on, really??
I do say freaking. And bloody stupid on occasion. I have used Ron Weasley’s bloody hell, but not seriously My brother uses Hades, and h-e-double-hocky-sticks.
I did say “darn it” one time when my football team missed a touchdown attempt, and my mom got on to me. Then again, she doesn’t like crap, or sucks, or butt, or…. And no more happiness!
Christian school faculty meetings often involved rooting out what the latest made up cuss words were for this reason. Then they were banned and we had to punish kids for using them. So they used new ones. Which were discussed at the next “what replacement words are they cussing with?” meeting and then banned.
It was endless. And stupid. Being the language police is beyond ridiculous.
I heard that expression (“Oh my goodness”) preached against at the Wilds camp one time, because goodness is a character trait of God and we are taking His character in vain when we say that.
Crazy the rules they can come up with.
HAHA about the german swear words!
My humanities professor used French swear words whenever the overhead projector turned off: which was about twice a class. Still have no idea what he was saying, but now whenever it turns off in my psych class I have to try really hard to not explode in laughter.
’75-76. And yes. Terrified. Still. She had a son there also when I was there. I didn’t really like him too much. Thought he was “all that”. Maybe he was. I didn’t think so though.
Just the other day I went to a play by the Lamb’s Players and the actors went out of character for an instant and had to hide their smiles and I thought of her. And of how much trouble they would have been in if SHE had been their director.
“you just can’t worth a Shih Tzu?”
I have GOT to use that some time! I have a Shih Tzu, I’ll use it next time he gets out of the yard or tips the trash can over….
At my FU there was this very prim and proper girl who used “holy shiboykins” (sp???) She said it quite often, until I asked her if she knew what the first part sounded like. She goes, “Holy shi— ” She never said it again.
I use “blerp” sometimes just because “blerp” is fun to say and fits the same rule that it can be used as a noun or a verb or an adjective that the real curses have.
Those are pretty good. I like Got dandruff! Some of it itches! and Got damage!
Funny how those are okay, but we couldn’t even say “GOSH” or “GEE” because they were “euphemisms.”
My younger brother came back from the Bill Rice Ranch many years ago with this:
GOT DOWN off my horse,
Stepped in a pile of SHIFTIN’sand,
Picked up a DAMP stick
and beat the HEALTH outta that horse!
In chapel one time the speaker started to say, “We’re not going to have any more of that sh**,” and caught himself in mid-word. It came out, “shbloney.”
When I arrived at my Fundy College back in the late 70′s, I noticed everyone said “stink”. I had never heard that before and I thought it sounded stupid. I never once used it, but it was funny to watch the freshman come in every year and begin to say that word. I still think it’s stupid.
We weren’t allowed to use any slang words, but my parents swore whenever they were angry (often). Any form of God or Jesus’ names earned soap in the mouth. We could say rats, oh my word, oh my land and stink.
Once my mom almost slapped me for saying my own name under my breath when I was frustrated with something I had just done. She said it sounded like “dammit”.
Now I laugh when my 6 yo daughter says, “What the heck?”, tells her brother to pick up his crap (legos) and when she told my husband to “shut the damn door” when he checked on her in the shower. lol (She learned THAT one from my FIL.)
Our former pastor’s son taught my son to say “bull shoot”. We put an end to that. Stupid Christian school kid.
The actual preaching on it always seemed hypocritical to me (at least when I heard it) because by the end of the sermon you realize that the preacher basically just spent the entire time swearing (by his definition) at the audience. But, for some reason, he was covered by some special dispensation (“It’s okay to say these words as long as you are preaching against them!”) Seems like there would be more important things for Christians to worry about…
This isn’t fundy-related as far as I know…but my late mom told me this anecdote once. She was a working-class Irish kid from Southie (South Boston), but she always had social and intellectual aspirations “beyond her station” as they used to say. When we moved from our urban Irish ghetto in Dorchester, Mass., to a suburban town some 20 miles away, my mom joined the League of Women Voters. The mostly well-heeled members would hold regular meetings in each others’ homes. At one meeting, another League member was venting about some impossible situation, which apparently exasperated her. “You’re darned if you do,” she said, “and you’re darned if you don’t.” My mom, brought up in a salty-tongued Irish-American family, thought this was hilarious. For years afterward, her idea of “too-preciously-proper-for-words” was “You’re darned if you do, and you’re darned if you don’t.” Of the woman in question, she liked to say, “Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.” Yep, that was my mom for ya.
I think it’s hilarious when my sweet, demure wife goes well beyond ‘crap’ in moments of frustration. She feels embarrassed after but I love her for it.
I didn’t go to Fundy U but I did go to FU (local Greenvillians will know what that is.) Tony Campollo gave a sermon during chapel where he said (and I’m paraphrasing), “There are millions of starving people in the world, and most of you don’t give a shit about it. In fact, most of you are more upset that I just said the word ‘shit’ than are upset about those starving people.”
It made an impression on me. I’ve heard him use that line in other sermons, though, so it’s part of his stock repertoire.
Kids today have it so easy with textspeak. They can put WTF or FML on their facebook, and their fundy parents will think it means “Wow, that’s fantastic” or “forgot my lunch.”
I had another pseudo-swear to add, but after reading Don’s comment aloud, my mind melted down from the juxtaposition of implied cursing + the actual words used.
My parents, both fundy most of their lives until just recently, say “What the Sam Hill?” Said real fast it doesn’t come out Hill. I had to ask them when they started swearing for them to tell me what they actually were saying at which point I said, “Why don’t you just say ‘Hell’?”
I was at the emergency room with my wife in Lubbock Tx. I had on my Manchester United jersey. The sweetest looking little lady said in the nicest English accent “thats my club I have been following them since I was a little girl in Manchester. I never could stand those f**k ing Manchester City c**ts.” My mom who had a Phd in history, and an masters in English always pointed out swear words where a puritan and victorian invention. At home I didnt have off limits words. out of respect I never take the Lords name in vain
My sports language is a lot stronger than “darn.” I think my first cursing lessons came in the form of shouting obscenities at Red Sox players and chanting “Boston sucks!” with the Bleacher Creatures at Yankee Stadium. I think that, as a New Yorker, swearing is part of my cultural heritage.
You, sir, are obviously not from New England. “Wicked” is not only an intensifier (“wicked good”) but a descriptor all of its own (and usually a positive one).
With this one I think that I’ll quit
If any of you have been offended
Go stick your head in a barrel of Shaving Cream, be nice and clean shave everyday and you’ll always look keen.
I don’t think Puritans invented the concept of profanity. I know that in Spanish, there are curse words, such as “mierda” (shit), for which there are euphemisms, such as “miercoles” (Wednesday).
You should check out the Penn and Teller “Bullshit!” episode that deals with cursing. It’s on YouTube. In it, there is a woman who is a driving instructor who is on a mission to get rid of profanity. She has even taught her students to replace the bird with some weird hand signal! LOL! Stupid!
My old pastor used that same line recently (maybe not for starving people, but for something he thought we should give a shit about.) I guess that was just one more thing he stole.
One of my college roommates was a genuine preacher’s daughter, and my mother was a kindergarten teacher. So right before we went back home, we practiced saying “SFDP” in lieu of saying “Shit Fuck Damn Piss.” (The P throws people off.)
Also, I grew up in a very Finnish community, so that’s how I get away with saying “shit” at work without anyone knowing.
When I saw the header for this, I thought of the list of curses from Farscape, (frell, dren, Hezmata, tralc) before remembering my misspent fundy youth. I kid you not, there was an issue with the phrase “Mother Fuddrucker’s!”
Kevin Roose (author of the Unlikely Disciple) said that while he was trying to blend in with the students at Liberty University, he read a book that recommended substituting swear words with words that glorified God. He baffled his new LU peers by saying things that “Mercy!” and “Glory Be!” instead of the sit-com versions of swear words that everyone else used.
Having absolutely no vocabulary and misspronunciating words is classic fundy. Some years ago a PCC graduate was attending our church and preached a whole sermon about “prejudisms” otherwise known as prejudices. A week later another PCC grad did a whole sermon on “laminating” intending to preach on lamenting over our sinfulness.
Moral of the story: Be sure you are properly laminating your predjudisms.
Or at least pronounce it correctly.
You’re so right! Why do they do that, to torture me? The pastor of the church we left last September made up lots of words. One was “deservant.” He’d say, “We’re not deservant of heaven, we’re deservant of hell.” ‘The proper word there is deserving.
The worst earsore I think is when they say Hagg-eee- eye for Haggai. There is no e in Haggai, it’s supposed to be pronounced Hag-eye but every fundy preacher and those reading the Bible portions at the front ALWAYS pronounced it Hagg-eee-eye and it just made me cringe. Especially when they continued to mispronounce it all the way through the sermon! Talk about wanting to cuss I sure did!
After looking up Johnny Dangerously on IMDB, I don’t feel so bad not getting the reference. I was 6 when that movie was released. I did queue it up on Netflix, so I shan’t be ignorant much longer.
I watched every season of Farscape on Netflicks in just a few short weeks. I seriously started saying stuff like “frelling dren” when I’d usually use some other colorful metaphor. I still say what the frell sometimes. Great show.
I heard a whole sermon preached on substitute swear words in a pentecostal church. The gist of it was that the substitute words were as bad as the real thing.
I think I saw that one! Didn’t she use both hands to make a “turkey”? Instead of flipping the bird, she went more literal…and stupid. For one thing, to do it she had to take her hands off the wheel…great driving instructor! Plus, the hand gesture just looked ridiculous.
Wow, you just brought back a little trigger there! I completely blocked that out, but as soon as I read your mispronunciation, I couldn’t help laughing, because you’re absolutely right!
I used to yell, “Curses and bad words!” often in college. I got some odd looks, but I thought it was entertaining.
My brother-in-law (who later attended the same college) said that he was in a class where the teacher was telling them words they couldn’t say and said, “We don’t say T-U-R-D or C-A-R-P”. Good thing they could still use crap.
First
by Enigma on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm
2nd?
by supernova8610 on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm
SO close to being first!
Well done, Enigma!
by supernova8610 on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Third?
Love the poster. Sounds like something my kids might say.
by a different Jeff on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm
We weren’t allowed to say much of anything when we were kids: “Rats” was one exception.
Nowadays, I tend to use “Argh” a lot on the internet. Hopefully, the “gh” at the end is keeping me from presenting myself as a deranged and irritable pirate.
by pastor's wife on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Fudge…I missed it.
by Admiral911 on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm
“Wicked” was popular when my sister was in high school: “wicked cool”, “wicked fun.” My parents chided her for using “wicked” as if it were a GOOD thing.
by pastor's wife on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm
by pastor's wife on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm
When he was extremely frustrated, my dad would say, “Oh, beans!”
by Papa Bear on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm
The only people I’ve ever heard say that are from Boston.
by Darrell on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm
i think mormons do a better job http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04zdLRu7qnA
by jason on Mar 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Mother Francis!
by RobM on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Thank you!
by Enigma on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm
this is a pile of steaming crud
by D_Rizzle on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Look and sound familiar? One of the funniest scenes from ‘A Christmas story-
by Phatchick on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Flip or flipping
Oh my soul!
What The French toast
by abp on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm
I remember saying, “O stink!” when I was traveling in a summer group for a fundy college. The faculty member traveling with us replied, “You don’t have swear about it!”
No, I didn’t say it during a concert.
by Iwasateenagefundy on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Oh my soul! That’s so accurate!!!!!111!eleven
by Josh, Doctor of Parsimony on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:39 pm
Actually, Darrell, it’s a New England thing. I have friends in NH who use it, too. (I guess it’s because they’re just so wicked cool.)
by Tikatu on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm
My daughter made up her own.
“What the cheese?!”
(To which the answer is often, “Cheese, Gromit!”)
by Tikatu on Mar 6, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I used to say “rats” all the time, too, until my IFB school made us all feel guilty for any kind of saying that expressed frustration. Cuz, you know, frustration means you’re not trusting God. I was in second grade at the time.
by Michelle M on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm
My stars!
by Michelle M on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm
My dear mother would say “jumpin jehosofats”. No idea where that came from.
by Daniel Lanton on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm
I say “oh my cheese” and “what the fish”. Not because I was raised fundamentalist, but because my two year old sister, and five year old brothers repeat EVERYTHING I say.
by desert butterfly on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm
The idea of minced oaths always struck me as anal retentive. I was sitting at a faculty table one time and used the expression “as luck would have it.” Another faculty member attempted to lecture me on the use of luck in front of everyone. I cut her off by simply stating “I said luck because I meant luck.”
After I had left Maranatha, I came back and accidentally used the word “gee.” An administrator attempted to rebuke me because I used a bad word. As I left, I turned to him and said “I used ‘gee’ because I meant gee. Had I wanted to use the word ‘Jesus,’ I would have used the word Jesus. The same goes for heck, gosh, darn, and fudge. People in the real world don’t bat an eyelash. The only ones who get their panties in a wad are anal-retentive fundies like you, and that is the reason why you-all feel so intimidated and insecure.” The man literally went unhinged in the hallway as I simply walked away from him and out the door.
by BobH on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm
thou liscentious son of a perverse woman! utter son of Belial!
by Jersha Wheeler on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm
Lan’ o’ Goshen, chile!!
by a on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Though idk; the Bible says in so many words not to use “idle words” (“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”). They might have a point. I mean, what are idle words?
by a on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Swell
So’s your old man
and
Shazbat
“Nanoo Nanoo”
by Don on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:32 pm
I always thought “idle words” meant useless conversation or internet comments.
by Papa Bear on Mar 6, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Oh, but for the TRULY serious fundy (read: “the one who God loves more”), made-up cuss words are not acceptable. Because those are just replacing real cuss words, which makes them just as evil as the real thing.
I remember getting this lecture in chapel at my fundy U (instead of, you know, teaching from the Bible) and trying not to laugh.
by Mandy on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:18 am
Watergate happened when I was in Bible college. (yeah, I’m that old) My best friend and I used the “expletive deleted” that occurred frequently in the published portions of the transcripts of the famous tapes. We’d say, “Expletive deleted! I left my Biblical Research assignment at home!” It’s a bit cumbersome when you really need a verbal pressure valve. I have recently found myself using “stink” but have no idea where I picked it up. I’m not around any fun dies ….fun dies… STINK! Why does my spell check insist on making me use incorrect plural spelling for fundy?! Arrgh! Change the Y to an i and add -es, but NO! It insists on fun dies! Wait. What in the blue blazes? Well, I’ll be jiggered! Fundy = fun dies. That’s really a thing of beauty, when you think about it. Can you spell ironic?
by Kate on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:42 am
How about, “Yo Oedipus”
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:01 am
Son of a Biscuit Eater!
What the Sam Hill is a-goin’ on here?
*Beans Mr Taggert?
I’d say you had about enough.
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:06 am
Frac!
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:07 am
“I don’t give a rip”
by NotUnderLaw on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:09 am
Frak!
by Senda Wales on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:19 am
“Shut the front door!”
by Beaker on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:07 am
I have to admit, I’m kind of with the truly serious fundies on this one, at least in the sense that it always struck me as a little silly when people purposely replace a swear word with a more innocuous word because they don’t want to offend Jesus or whatever. It’s like they think they could slip one by him or something. It seems pretty condescending to act like Jesus wouldn’t know what you REALLY meant to say when you said, “Shoot!” after spilling your cup of coffee all over the stack of forms you were filling out. I mean, as a non-Christian I don’t really care one way or the other, but it just seems odd. It’s like the implication is that Jesus is a bit like a 5 year old when it comes to being able to sneak naughty words by him or something. That just goes for the people who try not to curse out of some kind of religious obligation though. I can understand the people who do it out of a desire to be tactful or because they find cursing insensitive, crude, and lacking in creativity.
by Gwiwer on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:07 am
+1 for the logic
-1 for using it on a fundy
by Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:44 am
Shit. I just snorted Four Roses Single barrel up my nose. Funny post.
by Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:45 am
And you can leave the ‘gh’ off on September 19
by Tiarali on Mar 7, 2012 at 3:12 am
“The same goes for heck, gosh, darn, and fudge. People in the real world don’t bat an eyelash.” Not quite true, but not because they find it sinful. People in the non-evangelical-subculture realworld find such faux swearwords a bit ridiculous.
by squiz on Mar 7, 2012 at 4:00 am
What the frak Darrell! Made up cuss words are awesome.
by skeptigirl on Mar 7, 2012 at 4:32 am
Son of a sea biscuit.
by boymom on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:19 am
My husband’s office uses the phrase “hash brown”s to replace the more offensive “a$$ clowns.”
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Using made up swear words to appear more holy is just goofy. Using made up swear words so you don’t have to explain yourself to your child’s teacher is smart.
by Laurat99 on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:51 am
$#%*@ George. “hash browns.”
by Laurat99 on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:54 am
When I was in Catholic school, one of my friends used to say “Jesus, who for love of me, died on the Cross at Calvary,” instead of just saying “Jesus.” My stepmom still thought that was offensive.
by Miranda on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:08 am
I thought it meant gossip.
by Tiarali on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:30 am
I was around fundies who said ‘bah’ a lot. I now say it, not because I’m trying to avoid swearing, but just because it’s in my vocabulary now. They also called people a ‘joombie’ instead of a different offensive name.
by Tiarali on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:32 am
I remember when traveling for a fundy college a pastor on the west coast getting on the subject on minced oaths in his Sunday morning sermon. He said, “When you say ‘We sure had a hectic time.’ You are really saying, ‘We sure had a hellish time.’”
by iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:36 am
Up here in New England, one of the standard cuss words is “frig” (“Frig this!” “Wicked friggin’ cold this mawnin!”) The parallel with another word is more than obvious, but I read somewhere that it actually originated in Maine among seamen — it’s a derivation of “frigate.”
My mother, who was from New York, used to express frustration by saying, “Oh, pish!” I’ve never heard that from anyone else.
As for the use of words and phrases such as “gee” and “gosh darn,” I read a sermon not long ago which opined that God has better things to do with His time than to worry about whether people use His name flippantly. Taking the Lord’s name in vain has nothing to do with cussing, unless it’s deliberately and maliciously used to curse another human being. It has a whole lot more to do with things like hypocrisy and how we live our lives in general.
by WearyPilgrim on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:39 am
Hey, this reminds me of that youtube video from a few years back with that Dean of Students (or whoever he was) from BJU. As I remember that one does get a little graphic, especially for a fundy, although the logic is very consistent to their way of thinking.
by iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:42 am
In a newspaper in TN one of the local columnists said that God’s name is not God. So, in his opinion, you could say that all you want as long you didn’t use a name of God. Ill-logic abounds from all sides of most issues.
by iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:48 am
That video wasn’t specifically about minced oaths. It was just about the origin and use of words.
by iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:50 am
you sons of a silly person
your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries, you wipers of other people’s bottoms!
by captain_solo on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:55 am
Reminds me of the kid on the trike at the end of ‘The Incredibles’. That was totally WICKED!!!!
by C_Fresh on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:01 am
you’ve been … Jesus Juked!
Bam!
by shoes on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:08 am
Are you saying that he didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘hectic’, which has nothing to do with a certain theological region of eternal punishment?
by boymom on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:09 am
I fart in your general direction!
by boymom on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:10 am
“Boogers and snots!” – my Mom, extremely frustrated.
by redbeardiam on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:10 am
I’m partial to using friggin’ or freakin’ myself. I’m also amused by ‘frack’ from the new Battlestar Galactica series. Not sure if it is spelled the same but it just amuses me that ‘fracking’ is a way to extract oil.
In college, we were banned from saying any type of minced oaths, even ‘crap’ and ‘sucks’. We made up our own ones like ‘buttmonkey’ though we only used it among students. sonofabaptist!
by C_Fresh on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:11 am
Jimmeney Christmas, Doc! it’s 3 am according to yer timestamp! drinkin till 3 on a weeknight?!?!
by shoes on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:11 am
HorseFeathers is my dads favorite
by Mel on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:12 am
“Dadgummit! <— my dad
by persnickety polecat on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:19 am
I didn’t grow up fundy but the church I grew up in had a lot of sanctimonious prigs like fundies. My parents were hypocritical in this area. They’d cuss with the real words, but we kids weren’t allowed to say the fake ones. Once I got my mouth washed out with soap for saying Golly. This was hypocrisy at it’s worst.
I try not to say that many supposed cuss words, but I will say them, all except the F word which I despise. Sometimes no other word will do but the real one!
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:20 am
That was my impression also (though useless conversation could certainly include gossip as Tiarali says). Therefore, when I drop something heavy on my foot and subsequently exclaim “oh shit!,” that wouldn’t be useless conversation because (1) it’s not a conversation and (2) swearing is scientifically proven to deaden the effect of pain.
by Josh, Doctor of Parsimony on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:20 am
Charlie Brown said rats. What’s so bad about that?
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:21 am
We used to use these phrases from a movie we always watched as kids:
“You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!”
And NOT ONE of them was considered “cussing” so we could get away with them in private school!
by exOBCstudent on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:22 am
“Puke!”is the one most often coming out of my mouth. Also, “Stinking!”
)
And those are not necessarily to replace other “bad” words – I didn’t grow up in a house where those words were used, so I have never used them (regularly – can’t honestly say absolutely never
by Pastor Billy on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:22 am
I remember when I first began going to a fundy church, a lot of us, mostly women would say “Oh, my soul” about everything. It got rather annoying so eventually I stopped saying it.
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:23 am
The pastor of our fundy church in Michigan can’t stand it when someone says “luck” or “lucky.”
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:24 am
Gotta be honest – I just realized I do say crap and heck a lot. Bothers my wife that I do
by Pastor Billy on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:26 am
I said (OK, still say) “buttmonkey” a lot, but I heard it on Beavis & Butthead when I was like, 8.
by Miranda on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:28 am
+1 for the BSG reference.
by Admiral911 on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:33 am
What about foreign cuss words? Does Bloody mean anything here in the states? No..But in the UK it’s considered cussing….So does God care about our country of origin as well as our intent when we (and I mean all you heathens) cuss?
by Admiral911 on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:37 am
While I was out of the classroom my fundie sub made one of my students write a paragraph on the evils of “cursing”. He had said “gee” and “darn”. I’m sure his non-fundie parents were thrilled. And I was embarrassed for us.
I find myself saying “son of a mother” and “for the love of Pete” most commonly.
by throughaglassdarkly on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:39 am
Growing up, we weren’t allowed to use curse words, but gosh, golly, gee, crap, etc. were just fine. My parents were decidedly less Fundy than a lot of my friends’ parents, so I had to learn to curb my foul language
at a fairly early age. Also, my family is German, so scheisser, scheiss, scheisster, & scheisskopf could be used when appropriate.
My spouse’s family was much more strict, using stink & poop when they mean…scheiss.
They were also shocked to hear me use snot & crud. Seriously. 
Currently, I tell my children to speak with integrity, or say what you mean. We don’t use our words as weapons to hurt others, but if you’re expressing frustration, use of an oath can be an appropriate choice. For me personally, son of a biscuit-eating bulldog is a great stress-reliever. I start out angry, but by the time I get to the end, I’m laughing & the tension is eased. But when I’ve been up for 18 hours & my toddler is tearing through the house and pulling things off shelves or pouring the contents of his sippy cup on the floor, a muttered “Dammit!” under the breath is a very appropriate expression of my feelings.
Not only am I venting my frustration, I also get that giddy rush of doing something “bad” & getting away with it. 
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:50 am
HAHA! LOVED that! And the one after with the women! “Flippin Flapper!” LOL
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:51 am
My husband doesn’t like it when I say “crap.” But SOME things ARE crap!
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:55 am
My friend’s brother was asked to stop saying bloody because “it’s a curse word in Britain & Christians need to be above reproach.”
So apparently, God expects us to know what is considered cussing in every language & ignore the existence if those words accordingly.
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:57 am
*OF those words
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:58 am
That’s right. He really didn’t know what he was talking about!
by Iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:59 am
My cuss word of choice is “sugar” and if I’m really over the top frustrated “crap”. I guess there is just some fundy you can’t shed.
On a more serious note, I really don’t like cursing. I always told my boys they were intelligent enough to come up with something that really expressed what they were thinking and that cursing was just lazy and bad vocabulary.
They are all men now and I’m sure they curse sometimes, but in front of me they use more creative language.
by tena on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:59 am
I really didn’t mean to put that face next to my last comment.
by Iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:00 am
He doesn’t like when you say crap, but he “doesn’t hear” the F-word in movies?
That’s kinda funny. Maybe you should drop the F-bomb a few times to see if he notices. 
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:03 am
I spent one year at Baptist Bible College in Springfield and was in the drama class there. One of the plays we did was supposed to be in England, and all the actors were peppering their lines with “Bloody” this and “Bloody” that. After several weeks of this, one student pointed out that in some places the word bloody was considered a swear word. After that we only said it outside of class.
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:05 am
Good ole King Saul!
The KJV introduced lots of forbidden: pisseth, harlot, ass, ba$t@rd.
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:08 am
It all has to do with expectations: he overlooks cursing from construction workers or bad guys because that’s what one would expect, but he doesn’t expect his sweet, demure little wife to have a temper.
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:11 am
It is interesting to go to a church that is a lot less fundy than your previous one. In our current church we have a lady, who took a medical missions trip to Haiti. When she came back, she gave a report of her time down there and was very impressed with the way the Chrisitian prayed in Haiti. She said, “When they pray they really pray. They don’t just pray for the heck of it.” I believe at the other churches I have been in, that would have been the last time, they would have asked her to speak in church. Also, after a recent service, I had a fellow church member say to me, “That was a heck of a service!” and his dad used to pastor the church!
by Iwasateenagefundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:13 am
I guess Jehovah or Yahweh would have been right out.
by Beowulf on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:14 am
My mom wouldn’t let us say nonsense words like “izzyfrittzleplitz” because we might be swearing in another language.
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:14 am
Don, my dad used “What in the Sam Hill…?” all the time. Also, “Judas Priest!!”
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:14 am
+1 for the Monty Python reference, some of the best curses ever uttered.
by Beowulf on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:15 am
I agree – as a matter of course I don’t curse. Using such language frequently lessens its impact, so I tend to save foul language for when I really mean it.
Once my sister, who was going through a rough time in her life, accidentally let the phrase “oh, shit” slip out in front of my Fundy mother. My mom’s response was classic, though. “Dear, don’t worry. Sometimes life is shit.”
by Beowulf on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:20 am
I often say sam hill, and just to be cute I will say h-e-double toothpix.
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:22 am
Well, son of a biscuit eater. If I would have gotten off my blessed assurance yesterday and came over here, I would have gotten to see this friggin thing when it was posted, and might have been darn-well first. Shittola.
These days, if I want to cuss, I just freakin’ cuss, but dagnabbit before, you might as darn well know that I used my share of those stupid-as-hades psuedo-cuss words.
But, good night, what’s a fundy to flippin do when you want to foppin express yourself and you just can’t worth a Shih Tzu?
by Natalie on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:23 am
Scheiße! I’ve violated this one too many times to count.
by Josh, Doctor of Parsimony on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:23 am
HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA LOL OHHHhh I think maybe your mom and my mom would have been good friends. LOL That is PRICELESS!!!
My mom used to say that when people spoke in tongues they were maybe cursing God in another language and some old missionary story about someone who spoke the language the tongue speakers were speaking in… don’t remember it now because speaking in tongues wasn’t really much of an issue when I was growing up… but accidentally cussing in another language is definately a new phobia I now have. Thanks, Mom of Pastor’s Wife.
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:26 am
The ways that language changes between cultures is also interesting.
Years ago, a missionary shared the following story with me. He was at a service in Australia, and his wife was sick. He simply told the congregation that his wife was “under the weather.” The congregation looked shocked, so he immediately retorted “but she’s perking up now.” At that point the pastor of the church (who had spent time in the US) got up and told the guy, “In Australia, ‘under the weather’ means that she is slobbering drunk, and ‘perking up’ means that she is throwing up.”
by BobH on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:29 am
@Pastor’s Wife: Gotcha.
(I still think you should drop the F-bomb in private just for the epic reaction. But I’m an instigator…
)
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:32 am
I heard that same exact story. I wonder if it was the same missionary…
by Darrell on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:34 am
My Christian school principle (Not really a fundy school) once had my friend write out 500 lines of the phrase he used on another kid.
My friend told the kid to:
“Go Suck a F&&&in Egg” So my friend, wrote it out like 500 times…Seemed a bit strange to me.
by Admiral911 on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:35 am
That is hilarious.
by Admiral911 on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:36 am
Also worth noting is that the Australians I’ve asked about it tell me that “under the weather” means the same thing over there as it does here.
by Darrell on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:36 am
That’s a hen of a funny picture.
by Elmo on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:37 am
When my grandmother (Pentecostal pastor’s wife) was frustrated, she would roll her eyes toward heaven and exclaim, “merciful Father above..” The older I get, the more I find myself doing the exact same thing…
by JLL on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:40 am
SEE!?!?!? You said “hectic” and it summoned the devil!!
by JoeR on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:42 am
Ha! When I was in high school, I rattled to my mom that my brother had called me a bitch. Her response was, “Well, were you acting like one? Can’t really fault him for being truthful.”
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:42 am
*tattled
Frac, George! Can’t you leave me the River Styx alone? Jeepers!
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:44 am
I have actually heard someone say “son of a motherless goat” but I have no idea where it came from. What movie is it?
by JoeR on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:45 am
The Three Amigos!!!
by Darrell on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:49 am
I am seriously, SERIOUSLY impressed. Oh, how I would love to have a moment like that!
by WearyPilgrim on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:52 am
Everyone had different rules, but they acted like their rules were the only set, and expected you to know them without being told. My mom allowed “rats” and “shucks” but not “shoot”. My dad allowed all the above, but not “gee” “gosh” “golly” “heck” or “darn”. The christian school was a minefield, because each teacher seemed to have his or her own list of “dirty” words. And no one seemed to agree what made a word bad. Was it using it outside its intended context or literal meaning? Were certain words always bad, regardless of context? Were all euphemisms and minced oaths bad? Even the really obscure ones? If you don’t want me to use certain words, at least let me know how to avoid them. We don’t allow our kids to take the Lord’s name in vain (after all, it is a Commandment) and we don’t allow them to call each other “stupid” or its synonyms, but we don’t make a big deal about any other words, and they rarely swear.
by Papa Bear on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:54 am
That was hilarious!
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:01 am
I remember two stories from Australia. One was that a missionary from the states was in Australia and he’d had a great meal with his hosts. Afterward he said, “I’m stuffed!” and they laughed at him because to them stuffed meant pregnant.
In another story a woman from the states had gotten a hotel room and the bellboy asked if she wanted him to knock her up in the morning. Which meant to give her a wake up call or knock on the door to wake her up but of course to her that meant to get her pregnant. I think in either situation I’d be laughing my head off. I’d have to warn that bellboy not to say that to any woman from the states! LOL
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:04 am
Well shut the front door and shiboleth. That made my morning. Good job you cheeky blighter.
by forgiventhief on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:05 am
Jeez Louise!!!
(I still say that)
by Natalie on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:09 am
I always have considered myself to have pretty tame language–I prefer creative use of non-obscene yet extremely descriptive words to the made-up sort of swearing–but even I was taken aback when, after letting out a relatively innocuous “oh my goodness” while helping watch a child, I was informed by his mother not to use that sort of language around her son.
I thought she misheard, so I quickly said, “oh, no, don’t worry, I only said ‘oh my goodness’.” She looked at me very seriously and said, “I know.”
I still never have quite understood why she considered that so horrendously offensive…
by Annie Moose on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:14 am
Now THAT’S the kind of “swearing” I like to do. It’s just so much more entertaining–and you don’t have to watch yourself lest an errant minced oath of ultimate evil slip out in the presence of the wrong person.
by Annie Moose on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:18 am
I’m still amused that we all think that copying Robert Newton’s characterization of Long John Silver – making it at least 3 indirections away from reality, counting Stevenson himself – makes us talk like pirates. Really? And I suppose we think pirates had parrots on their shoulders, too. Pretty funny.
by Der_Berater on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:21 am
When I hear “butt monkey”, all I can think about is the TV Tropes version: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButtMonkey
TV Tropes has ruined my life!
by Annie Moose on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:21 am
And eye patches.
And peg legs.
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
Oh, shootfire!
by LK on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:25 am
Loving the Music Man reference. Don’t forget rebuttoning the knickerbockers…
A local youth drama company put the show on. They did great, but forgot the first rule of theater: when you bring the house down, WAIT until the audience stops applauding. The salesmen train “song” was so good that Harold Hill’s entrance was completely snowed by applause.
by Der_Berater on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:30 am
She might not have liked it because it SOUNDED like “God.” She might have disliked any extraneous words not matter how innocuous because she wanted to let her “yea be yea and her nay nay.” It’s possible too that she’d read Ps. 144:2 – “My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer” – in which God is called “my goodness.” Or it could be that she likes being “holier than thou” and takes pleasure in putting other people down in order to supposedly look super-spiritual herself.
by pastor's wife on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:32 am
More SFL: assuming they fully understand your mental processes, including subconscious ones, by misunderstanding a sentence fragment.
by Der_Berater on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:36 am
I heard my aunt exclaim “well, sugar!” a lot. Any exclamation that begins with an “s” is just a substitute for shit.
by Fifthsunday on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:36 am
My mom liked the phrase “I don’t give a flying fig!”
by Lois on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
My cousin goes a step further and says, “Sugar Honey Iced Tea.”
by Lois on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:44 am
I have a friend who says “Cheese and Rice.”
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:46 am
@Sims When were you there?? So you know Mrs. J? Were you as afraid of her as I was (then, not now)?
by Pastor Billy on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:46 am
*crosses both arms over chest then coughs*
by exOBCstudent on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:46 am
I saw a documentary on the History Channel. It claimed it was the Puritians who created the concept of profanity, the idea that certain words were sinful. Of course most of these words were related to sex.
A phonic sound that might be a “swear” word in the English language might be an acceptable word in another.
With fundies Ethnic slurs were acceptable. I can remember a fundie evangelist dropping the n-bomb at my church.
I am for free speech, but Christians should be less obsessed with George Carlin’s “7 Words you Can’t Say on Television” and more concerned with the hateful speech that dehumanizes people like; heathen, fool, unsaved trash, liberal, catolick, holy rollers, queer, etc…
by Mark on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:50 am
I heard it from a Davy Crockett movie
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:52 am
I’ve also heard some folks saying “oh hells bells” when they acidentally slip and say hell.
“Shitake mushrooms” was another of our favorites that couldn’t get condemned by the fundy school teachers.
by exOBCstudent on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:57 am
I used that quote at the last basketball game I was at. When the opposing team made a basket or a good play, I’d call out to no one in particular, “your mother was hamster!!!” As if that changed anything. Though they did end up losing…
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:59 am
BOLSHEVIKS!
by elfdream on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:02 am
The f-word makes me crazy because people use it all.the.time for no reason. I was working at a fast food restaurant and a guy there used it for just about every part of speech there was. I mean come on, really??
I do say freaking. And bloody stupid on occasion. I have used Ron Weasley’s bloody hell, but not seriously
My brother uses Hades, and h-e-double-hocky-sticks.
I did say “darn it” one time when my football team missed a touchdown attempt, and my mom got on to me. Then again, she doesn’t like crap, or sucks, or butt, or…. And no more happiness!
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:05 am
Christian school faculty meetings often involved rooting out what the latest made up cuss words were for this reason. Then they were banned and we had to punish kids for using them. So they used new ones. Which were discussed at the next “what replacement words are they cussing with?” meeting and then banned.
It was endless. And stupid. Being the language police is beyond ridiculous.
by amyrose on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:09 am
I heard that expression (“Oh my goodness”) preached against at the Wilds camp one time, because goodness is a character trait of God and we are taking His character in vain when we say that.
Crazy the rules they can come up with.
by sonofafundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:18 am
HAHA about the german swear words!
My humanities professor used French swear words whenever the overhead projector turned off: which was about twice a class. Still have no idea what he was saying, but now whenever it turns off in my psych class I have to try really hard to not explode in laughter.
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:18 am
’75-76. And yes. Terrified. Still. She had a son there also when I was there. I didn’t really like him too much. Thought he was “all that”. Maybe he was. I didn’t think so though.
Just the other day I went to a play by the Lamb’s Players and the actors went out of character for an instant and had to hide their smiles and I thought of her. And of how much trouble they would have been in if SHE had been their director.
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:19 am
My eldest brother came back from his first year at Fundy U with a cool list of words:
Mother father!
Got dandruff! Some of it itches!
Cheese and rice!
Son of your mother!
Got damage!
Damage!
And so on…
by KindofBored on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:19 am
Bitch is one of those words that yes, can be misused, but sometimes, the lady was just a bitch! How else can you describe it?
And Beowulf, that is hilarious.
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:21 am
Arrr, matey. I clean forgot about the patch and the leg. (Wow. I can hear his voice saying that. I’m waaaay to conditioned)
by Der_Berater on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:21 am
“you just can’t worth a Shih Tzu?”
I have GOT to use that some time! I have a Shih Tzu, I’ll use it next time he gets out of the yard or tips the trash can over….
At my FU there was this very prim and proper girl who used “holy shiboykins” (sp???) She said it quite often, until I asked her if she knew what the first part sounded like. She goes, “Holy shi—
” She never said it again.
by Easterlily241 on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:24 am
I use “blerp” sometimes just because “blerp” is fun to say and fits the same rule that it can be used as a noun or a verb or an adjective that the real curses have.
by zzyzx on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:25 am
Those are pretty good. I like Got dandruff! Some of it itches! and Got damage!
Funny how those are okay, but we couldn’t even say “GOSH” or “GEE” because they were “euphemisms.”
My younger brother came back from the Bill Rice Ranch many years ago with this:
GOT DOWN off my horse,
Stepped in a pile of SHIFTIN’sand,
Picked up a DAMP stick
and beat the HEALTH outta that horse!
by ChooChoo on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:33 am
In chapel one time the speaker started to say, “We’re not going to have any more of that sh**,” and caught himself in mid-word. It came out, “shbloney.”
by co_heir on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:44 am
When I arrived at my Fundy College back in the late 70′s, I noticed everyone said “stink”. I had never heard that before and I thought it sounded stupid. I never once used it, but it was funny to watch the freshman come in every year and begin to say that word. I still think it’s stupid.
by KelRet on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:55 am
We weren’t allowed to use any slang words, but my parents swore whenever they were angry (often). Any form of God or Jesus’ names earned soap in the mouth. We could say rats, oh my word, oh my land and stink.
Once my mom almost slapped me for saying my own name under my breath when I was frustrated with something I had just done. She said it sounded like “dammit”.
Now I laugh when my 6 yo daughter says, “What the heck?”, tells her brother to pick up his crap (legos) and when she told my husband to “shut the damn door” when he checked on her in the shower. lol (She learned THAT one from my FIL.)
Our former pastor’s son taught my son to say “bull shoot”. We put an end to that. Stupid Christian school kid.
by Tammy on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm
What on earth? and crud were ok, too.
by Tammy on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehoshaphat#Popular_culture
by Niki on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Short answer: yes.
by Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm
The actual preaching on it always seemed hypocritical to me (at least when I heard it) because by the end of the sermon you realize that the preacher basically just spent the entire time swearing (by his definition) at the audience. But, for some reason, he was covered by some special dispensation (“It’s okay to say these words as long as you are preaching against them!”) Seems like there would be more important things for Christians to worry about…
by Mandy on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Frakkin’ toasters!!
I love saying frak b/c I can say it most everywhere AND I get geek points for using it.
by HazelEyed on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Motor-stickin’
Turd Sandwich
Curtesy of the kind folks a Bible Believers Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL. Glad we only visited once.
by thomasgarvon on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm
I think of the scene from “Bruce Almighty”
by Admiral911 on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Yep, as an ex-Bostonian (born and bred), I must agree that “wicked” is wicked Bostonian.
by Catholic Gate-Crasher on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm
LOL! My mom used to say “Holy Mother of God!” a lot. But that had nothing to do with fundyism.
by Catholic Gate-Crasher on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm
LOL!! Cheese, Gromit! Love it!
by Catholic Gate-Crasher on Mar 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm
This isn’t fundy-related as far as I know…but my late mom told me this anecdote once. She was a working-class Irish kid from Southie (South Boston), but she always had social and intellectual aspirations “beyond her station” as they used to say. When we moved from our urban Irish ghetto in Dorchester, Mass., to a suburban town some 20 miles away, my mom joined the League of Women Voters. The mostly well-heeled members would hold regular meetings in each others’ homes. At one meeting, another League member was venting about some impossible situation, which apparently exasperated her. “You’re darned if you do,” she said, “and you’re darned if you don’t.” My mom, brought up in a salty-tongued Irish-American family, thought this was hilarious. For years afterward, her idea of “too-preciously-proper-for-words” was “You’re darned if you do, and you’re darned if you don’t.” Of the woman in question, she liked to say, “Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.” Yep, that was my mom for ya.
by Catholic Gate-Crasher on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:06 pm
That is an improper use of the term wicked. Something can be ‘wicked good’ but not simply ‘wicked.’ I mean, unless it’s evil or something.
by redbeardiam on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I think it’s hilarious when my sweet, demure wife goes well beyond ‘crap’ in moments of frustration. She feels embarrassed after but I love her for it.
by redbeardiam on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Only I didn’t say “Fudge.”
by beth on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I didn’t go to Fundy U but I did go to FU (local Greenvillians will know what that is.) Tony Campollo gave a sermon during chapel where he said (and I’m paraphrasing), “There are millions of starving people in the world, and most of you don’t give a shit about it. In fact, most of you are more upset that I just said the word ‘shit’ than are upset about those starving people.”
It made an impression on me. I’ve heard him use that line in other sermons, though, so it’s part of his stock repertoire.
by Beowulf on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm
“Son of a mother” is still one of my favorites
by Kevin on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm
“You buncha farging ice holes! You cork socking sunny beaches! Ima gonna fork you up you piece of shirt!”
My mother said that to me…. once.
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm
by Kevin on Mar 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Kids today have it so easy with textspeak. They can put WTF or FML on their facebook, and their fundy parents will think it means “Wow, that’s fantastic” or “forgot my lunch.”
by Kevin on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I had another pseudo-swear to add, but after reading Don’s comment aloud, my mind melted down from the juxtaposition of implied cursing + the actual words used.
by Kreine on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Very creative post, Natalie. I loved your comment
by Vanessa West on Mar 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm
My parents, both fundy most of their lives until just recently, say “What the Sam Hill?” Said real fast it doesn’t come out Hill. I had to ask them when they started swearing for them to tell me what they actually were saying at which point I said, “Why don’t you just say ‘Hell’?”
by Eric on Mar 7, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Ahh, a “Johnny Dangerously” reference.
Shiite Muslims.
by Pearl on Mar 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm
I was at the emergency room with my wife in Lubbock Tx. I had on my Manchester United jersey. The sweetest looking little lady said in the nicest English accent “thats my club I have been following them since I was a little girl in Manchester. I never could stand those f**k
ing Manchester City c**ts.” My mom who had a Phd in history, and an masters in English always pointed out swear words where a 
puritan and victorian invention. At home I didnt have off limits words. out of respect I never take the Lords name in vain
by bradley0107 on Mar 7, 2012 at 4:05 pm
My sports language is a lot stronger than “darn.” I think my first cursing lessons came in the form of shouting obscenities at Red Sox players and chanting “Boston sucks!” with the Bleacher Creatures at Yankee Stadium. I think that, as a New Yorker, swearing is part of my cultural heritage.
by Miranda on Mar 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Husband’s current favorite: douchewaffle.
by boymom on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I agree.
by headnotbowedeyeswideopen on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:11 pm
You, sir, are obviously not from New England. “Wicked” is not only an intensifier (“wicked good”) but a descriptor all of its own (and usually a positive one).
by Tikatu on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm
I also can’t stand the expression “oh my word” what the heck does that even mean?? People sound so stupid when they say that.
by headnotbowedeyeswideopen on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm
by Phatchick on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm
True, it’s good way to express frustration and endear yourself to fellow sci-fi fans.
by Phatchick on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:17 pm
My personal favorite swear is “Oh, Bugger!” The Brits even swear with class.
by Phatchick on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I think it is about commenting on SFL.
by headnotbowedeyeswideopen on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm
My sister got in the car and must have dropped 5 or 6 “f bombs” within the first couple of minutes… I guess I shoud have sternly corrected her….
by headnotbowedeyeswideopen on Mar 7, 2012 at 6:27 pm
You’re all full of “Shipoopi!”
With this one I think that I’ll quit
If any of you have been offended
Go stick your head in a barrel of
Shaving Cream, be nice and clean shave everyday and you’ll always look keen.
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:12 pm
The French “merde” is a good one because when you’re really upset you can roll the “r” sound to make a pretty nice growl.
by Rose on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm
I don’t think Puritans invented the concept of profanity. I know that in Spanish, there are curse words, such as “mierda” (shit), for which there are euphemisms, such as “miercoles” (Wednesday).
by deist female on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm
One I use a lot is “Chaos!”
by Rose on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm
You should check out the Penn and Teller “Bullshit!” episode that deals with cursing. It’s on YouTube. In it, there is a woman who is a driving instructor who is on a mission to get rid of profanity. She has even taught her students to replace the bird with some weird hand signal! LOL! Stupid!
by deist female on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:37 pm
My old pastor used that same line recently (maybe not for starving people, but for something he thought we should give a shit about.) I guess that was just one more thing he stole.
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:45 pm
OhmyWORD that one made me laugh out loud. For REALZ!
by Sims on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:48 pm
A few days ago I overheard a guy at my work explain to another coworker that he uses “Cheese and Rice” as a stand in for “Jesus H. Christ”.
by Fishsticks on Mar 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm
As a kid we used Fart Blossom and Dookie-Bomb.
by Don on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Oh, for friggin’ sake! I almost forgot about frig!
by Tikatu on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Was that the one where he pronounced “wuss” as “woose”?
by Tikatu on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:41 pm
One of my college roommates was a genuine preacher’s daughter, and my mother was a kindergarten teacher. So right before we went back home, we practiced saying “SFDP” in lieu of saying “Shit Fuck Damn Piss.” (The P throws people off.)
Also, I grew up in a very Finnish community, so that’s how I get away with saying “shit” at work without anyone knowing.
by tatortotcassie on Mar 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm
My grandmother used to say,”Land-O Goshen!”
by Dave on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Tvtropes will enhance your life
by Greg from Utopia on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm
When I saw the header for this, I thought of the list of curses from Farscape, (frell, dren, Hezmata, tralc) before remembering my misspent fundy youth. I kid you not, there was an issue with the phrase “Mother Fuddrucker’s!”
(goshdarnheckcrapfudge)
Also, this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVkckG6zw6I
and this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqxnm6t3QMw
Ok, i’m done. And I don’t give a good gorram about it, either.
by Greg from Utopia on Mar 7, 2012 at 9:43 pm
Mandatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxmkiy9txBE#t=11s
Kevin Roose (author of the Unlikely Disciple) said that while he was trying to blend in with the students at Liberty University, he read a book that recommended substituting swear words with words that glorified God. He baffled his new LU peers by saying things that “Mercy!” and “Glory Be!” instead of the sit-com versions of swear words that everyone else used.
by Troy on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm
How about Tennessee Crotch Cricket or Arkinsas Barking Spider?
by tlorz2 on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:34 pm
A couple of my favorites:
Shishcafiddles and Horsekaflops
Bovine Recycled Hay!
by tlorz2 on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:38 pm
Our family sometimes said “sugarjets”, a cereal from the 60′s.
by exfundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:44 pm
In baseball practice they use a “fungo” bat for hitting balls to fielders. So I used to hear “What the fungo?”
by exfundy on Mar 7, 2012 at 10:58 pm
A classic! My parents played this record all the time when I was little. Of course I didn’t get the joke till years later…
by Jessie on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:06 pm
Having absolutely no vocabulary and misspronunciating words is classic fundy. Some years ago a PCC graduate was attending our church and preached a whole sermon about “prejudisms” otherwise known as prejudices. A week later another PCC grad did a whole sermon on “laminating” intending to preach on lamenting over our sinfulness.
Moral of the story: Be sure you are properly laminating your predjudisms.
Or at least pronounce it correctly.
by tlorz2 on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Son of a Baptist!
by Papa Bear on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:42 pm
You’re so right! Why do they do that, to torture me? The pastor of the church we left last September made up lots of words. One was “deservant.” He’d say, “We’re not deservant of heaven, we’re deservant of hell.” ‘The proper word there is deserving.
The worst earsore I think is when they say Hagg-eee- eye for Haggai. There is no e in Haggai, it’s supposed to be pronounced Hag-eye but every fundy preacher and those reading the Bible portions at the front ALWAYS pronounced it Hagg-eee-eye and it just made me cringe. Especially when they continued to mispronounce it all the way through the sermon! Talk about wanting to cuss I sure did!
by Macushlalondra on Mar 7, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Minced oath rap (from flight of the conchords):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk
“I’m the mother flippin’ Rhymenocerous”
by squiz on Mar 8, 2012 at 4:11 am
A fundy-lite coworker of mine (who coincidentally isn’t the brightest bulb) uses the rather unusual euphemism “Damnation!”
I want to tell her she’s doing it wrong, but I don’t know how.
by Arch Radish on Mar 8, 2012 at 4:18 am
I will be sure to avoid that particular one once I go church hunting….
by Easterlily241 on Mar 8, 2012 at 9:27 am
Thumbs up for the Firefly reference!!
by Easterlily241 on Mar 8, 2012 at 9:32 am
I have always wondered what the H. stands for…
by Kreine on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:09 am
Hernandez
by Don on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:17 am
Actually it stands for “Holy”
by Don on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:19 am
Maybe get her a dictionary? Damnation isn’t a euphemism at all, but in fact means “the act of damning or the state of being damned.”
Not cussing, but I have an acquaintance who is try to stop using “god” flippantly. I crack up every time I hear, “Oh, God…bless America!
” 
by Kreine on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:19 am
After looking up Johnny Dangerously on IMDB, I don’t feel so bad not getting the reference. I was 6 when that movie was released.
I did queue it up on Netflix, so I shan’t be ignorant much longer. 
by Kreine on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:23 am
Ah, yes, the Fundy thought that “liberal” is somehow bad. Like, if you are a “liberal” in any way you got to change to be a true Chistian!
by Beth D on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:30 am
My favorite has always been “Oh, shittake mushrooms!”
by Beth D on Mar 8, 2012 at 10:33 am
I watched every season of Farscape on Netflicks in just a few short weeks. I seriously started saying stuff like “frelling dren” when I’d usually use some other colorful metaphor. I still say what the frell sometimes. Great show.
by Fifthsunday on Mar 8, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Isn’t that from *Spy Kids*? LOL, need to re-watch that…great movie.
by Catholic Gate-Crasher on Mar 8, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Haploid.
by Vernon J. Howarth on Mar 8, 2012 at 2:58 pm
I had a Spanish teacher in high school that used to say “Jeezy Creezy light n’ breezy.” Never heard that one from anybody else.
by Out Of The Bob Jones Worship Culture on Mar 8, 2012 at 4:04 pm
“Easy peasy, lemon squeezee.”
by boymom on Mar 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm
We seriously giggled everytime we said we were going to Fuddrucker’s.
by boymom on Mar 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm
“Hot Spit” -former fundie school principal that I used to work with.
How about the over-use of certain phrases in some fundie preaching, such as “God Help” or “Bless God”?
by Ray Kinsella on Mar 8, 2012 at 6:22 pm
My (public) high school biology teacher once chastised my classmate for saying, “that sucks.”
“Don’t say ‘sucks’” said the teacher.
“Ok. That blows,” replied the student.
by tatortotcassie on Mar 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm
couple i have heard (not by a fundy but someone trying hard to maintain no profanity in the office setting: God…bless America! and Oh Sh..ugar!!
by bean on Mar 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm
I heard a whole sermon preached on substitute swear words in a pentecostal church. The gist of it was that the substitute words were as bad as the real thing.
by Simple on Mar 9, 2012 at 6:19 am
I know someone who uses that constantly, along with “stink”. She even posts the shorthand on Facebook, using OMW. I still think it’s stupid.
by Ben on Mar 9, 2012 at 10:33 am
I think I saw that one! Didn’t she use both hands to make a “turkey”? Instead of flipping the bird, she went more literal…and stupid. For one thing, to do it she had to take her hands off the wheel…great driving instructor! Plus, the hand gesture just looked ridiculous.
by Ben on Mar 9, 2012 at 10:39 am
Wow, you just brought back a little trigger there! I completely blocked that out, but as soon as I read your mispronunciation, I couldn’t help laughing, because you’re absolutely right!
by Ben on Mar 9, 2012 at 11:05 am
I got in trouble in fifth grade by a substitute teacher (pretty sure she was a fundy). My crime..saying JEEZ.
Cripes was also on our list of no say words.
I don;t think we could say holy cow, either.
This was at a public school in 79 or 80. She did not last long as our long term substitute. A little strict, that lady was…
by bean on Mar 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Remember several “checkable” curse words friends came up with from my BJU days. A couple of my favorites:
What the purgatory?
Son of a Boj! (had to be from BJU to know what “Boj” means…)
And of course the typical Crud, Stink, What in the World, What the Cosmos, etc.
by bju'er on Mar 13, 2012 at 11:44 am
well “jeans and creeps, and some of it itches”
never heard the shi-tzu translation before.
good post
by richie-rich on Apr 22, 2012 at 5:55 am
I used to yell, “Curses and bad words!” often in college. I got some odd looks, but I thought it was entertaining.
My brother-in-law (who later attended the same college) said that he was in a class where the teacher was telling them words they couldn’t say and said, “We don’t say T-U-R-D or C-A-R-P”. Good thing they could still use crap.
by FundyPoser on Aug 2, 2012 at 12:19 pm